One Last Dance

Her body moved silently to the music. A faint smile touched her lips. Her eyes were half closed as she slowly danced around the room. Life is perfect, she thought, I'm loved and all is well. Nothing would ever change; nothing would ever be as it once was . . . After the disaster of a first marriage, Casey had accepted a life alone and was at peace with that decision. It didn't stop her from being lonely. On a dull evening, when she was feeling particularly lonely Casey sat down at her computer and started checking out local bulletin boards. This was way before the Internet and World Wide Web. Those you chatted with tended to be local and much, much smaller groups. None of the sites she found appealed to her until she found Stanley's Steamboat Stop.

Like the others she had seen, Stanley's had the usual rooms devoted to a variety of topics, but it also had one listed that sounded different. This particular room was called The Meadow. In addition to a screen name, those who populated this room also took on a fictional persona. Most of it revolved around the antics of Mouse, who was forever trying to steal food from The Farmer's garden and getting stomped for it. One of the other rooms was devoted to lively debate and discussion and was here that The Farmer excelled. With a rapier sharp wit and intelligence, The Farmer regularly dissected challengers. Through him Casey learned to think through her arguments and to present her case in a logical and straight forward manner.

Before long Casey went from sending one or two messages to sending dozens. Most to the public rooms, but many were private messages to and from Mouse. Each night when she logged on and saw the new messages a ray of happiness went through her. It seemed that she had finally found friends.

Winter slipped by and so did Spring. She watched with delight as Mouse slipped in and out of the Garden, got stomped and The Farmer got zapped by the Fairy Godmother who protected Mouse. Casey enjoyed the debates, some she won, some she lost, but each was a learning experience. Mouse offered his phone number but she was still to insecure to dare to call him. Written words seemed much, much safer.

Casey found the people even more fun in person than they were online. They ate, drank, talked and laughed until darkness forced the picnic to an end. An exploding watermelon was only one of the many memories built that day. By the time she finally drove home, Casey had agreed to a date with Mouse. She had learned his real name, but would think of him as Mouse for months more to come. Their first date was a huge success, especially when he held her close in a dance near the end of the date. It was the first of many dances.

A year later at the second annual Stanley's Steamboat Stop picnic Mouse surprised them all by dropping to one knee and proposing. A blushing Casey agreed to marry him, to the cheers of all those present. She couldn't imagine being any happier, it was as if all the bad from her childhood had never happened.

When Casey was nine she was verbally and emotionally abused by her teacher and classmates. Problems at home deepened the problem, although years later she could not remember exactly what had happened. All Casey knew was she was alienated. Once full of confidence with lots of friends, she retreated inside of herself, inside of a bubble where no one could cause her harm. It was a lonely existence but preferable to risking her heart, risking being ridiculed, being laughed at. So while other children developed social skills, learned to be and make friends, Casey stayed within the world of her imagination, safe and secure. The one joy she shared with other children was a wishing star. Like so many others she would make a wish, only her wish was always the same, that someday, someone would love her. Now, so many years later, it all seemed to be coming true.

But it wasn't meant to be. Casey had no way to know that the same lack of skills that kept her apart from most other people would also keep her from being able to bond as a wife. She tried, but something just wasn't there. Two years after they were married, Mouse told her that he had found someone else, that he didn't love her anymore. Casey, her heart shattered coped in the only way she knew how.

Her body moved silently to the music. A faint smile touched her lips. Her eyes were half closed as she slowly danced around the room. Life is perfect, she thought, I'm loved and all is well. Nothing would ever, change, nothing would ever be as it once was. A nurse peered into the open door at the vacant eyed woman who moved to music only the dancer could hear.